What is Colloquial English, Nowadays?

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Yes, the actual definition of ‘colloquial’ is: of, relating to, or characteristic of conversation and especially of familiar and informal conversation.

Okay…so, what is colloquial English, nowadays?

I got reminded the other day, how I might be from Planet Vulcan or akin/related to Mr. Spock – due to my linguistics, rhetoric, occasional bouts of mechanical speech (which is just for fun, by the way), and so on. So, I’ll show that I’m versatile and provide some colloquial English translations for some of these new generation type folks. LOL!?

—Side note: This is the most senseless¬†post I have ever published, but I felt as if I needed to, for whatever reason.¬† Another reason I wrote this, is because I work in retail and I hear this kind of dialect often, especially from younger folks that claim to be “down with it.” Anyway, try to enjoy this meaningless parody that is full of poppycock……

English: It has been a long week; I’m tired and ready to go home for some rest.

Translation: Dis be draggin’ by and me be droopin’ through this shiz nizzle and ready to chill at crib, dog.

English: I’m so glad the weekend is here; I’m ready to drink a few beers and embark upon some recreation.

Translation: Yo-yo! I bez gonna get krunk & drunk an’ mez going to raise tha roof, biatch!

English: Wow! That girl is very attractive. I would love to fornicate with her without procreating.

Translation: She be bangin’! I’d tap that ass so hard but I be wrappin’ tha john for Iz not paying for no kizzles’.

English: This is a very interesting subject and I’m apt to learn more, thanks.

Translation: Tis shiz be blowin’ my mindza an goinz to check dis outs, my bruther.

English: I’m very fond of grammatical expressions and the meanings therein.

Translation: I be pushin’ rhymes like weights and I’m feeling the vibe from spittin’ lyrics all up in this.

English: Hey, how are you doing? It’s been a while since we last spoke; good to see you.

Translation: Waz up, yo! I ain’t seen dat ass in long while; I holla at yaz!

English: I really like this music; it is loud and upbeat!

Translation: Dang man! Diz is da bomb ass hit beat; raize it up raize it up, player play on!

English: You are no match for me and you shall be defeated.

Translation: You better back up befo’ ya get smacked up ’cause I be stompin’.

English: This is a really interesting website. I’ll bookmark it and check back often.

Translation: This site’s off the hook, put it on a leash! Who let the dogs out? I holla back at cha!

English: This is the stupidest page I’ve ever wrote and I don’t know why anybody would read this poppycock!

Translation: I be hatin’ up on this crap shizzles for realz; hey, where my peeps at?!

—Okay, so… What is colloquial English, nowadays? I guess it depends on who ya talk to. Well, anyway, that is what I surmise… Ha-ha!

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