I’m tired of all this talk about male enhancement and people suffering from a small penis. Blah-blah, you’ve got problems but maybe some of us are sick of hearing about it. Plus, the shoddy adverts for “performance pills” are not very convincing. Anyway, since everybody else can cry about their penis, I figured I’d join the party. Cheers now! 😉
Yes folks, I got a big, divine dong and I’m proud of it. BUT, I also have a huge problem. I can’t figure out why some people keep staring at my cock!
These problems started early on, years ago, even in High School. But recently, it has just gotten ridiculous and I wanted to talk about some (too many to list) examples of these freaks who have staring problems! Okay, like, this past spring, I had some clown run over my mailbox because of this very issue. I was almost done mowing my yard and was just finishing up the front yard, but suddenly, I got an urge to take a piss. I was not about to walk all the way inside the house just to urinate, then have to come back out there and finish the mowing job. So, I just stood by a tree and took a whiz right there, you know, to save steps. Well, here comes some car slowly going down the road, in front of my house. I didn’t think anything about it, figured I’d wave like a friendly neighbor and be done with it. But no, no, no… This maniac comes down the road with their eyes glued to my urinating meatpole – while not even looking at the road – and runs over my damn mailbox! I don’t even think the fool even noticed my courtesy-wave, but whatever. I hurried up and finished, then I zipped up my bulging package and went running towards the mailbox, then this lunatic takes off. Yeah, the bastard performed a hit & run on my USPS receptor, but luckily for me, the damages weren’t too bad. I swear, people need to pay more attention to the road!
Another recent example, is when I went to the dentist office about a month ago. I had to get a couple fillings (fill the caries with silver or some other unknown alloy), but the only good thing about the visit was the super-sexy dental assistant. She had these big, succulent breasts, and full thick lips. The whole time I was laying there getting my teeth drilled, I kept fantasizing about having sex with this woman. Oh, man, I was feeling so aroused. Well, anyway, she was suppose to be holding that suction thing in my mouth where the dentist is working at – to catch the fragments that occur from getting a tooth drilled and to also suck up the water when it is sprayed in there on occasions. I was laying back in that chair, daydreaming about thrusting my manhood into her available openings and then AHH! She evidently wasn’t paying attention and let that suction device slide out of my mouth and then hovered it over one of my nostrils and I jumped as it tickled a nostril hair or something – and the dentist slipped the drill and hit one of my good teeth. After a quick yell from the dentist, telling her to pay attention, they resumed. I thought to myself “okay, that was weird.” Well, I went back to fantasizing about ramming her with my swollen rod and a minute or so later, she did it again! Talk about pissed! The dentist, without thinking, yelled out, “if you’d quit staring at his genitalia, maybe you could pay attention to your job!” The assistant, now embarrassed, left the room and I never seen her again. The dentist said he would be right back, and when he returned, he brought a different dental assistant in there. She was older and somewhat resembled a troll, but oh well… I don’t know why the other assistant was staring at my cock because they BOTH were suppose to be working on my teeth! Some people really have some serious issues, I suppose. Upon leaving, the dentist told me that next time, I should probably take care of some things before coming in there. Confused by that asinine statement, I said, “like, take care of what?” He started to stare at my genital region and then began to nod… I said, “you people are fucking crazy,” and left. I never went back to that dental asylum again!
This next example is just plain gay. A couple weeks ago, I ordered a pizza and some cheese sticks from a pizzeria. Instead of picking it up, I had it delivered – since I was in a hurry. Anyway, I set the money on the counter by the door, drank me a beer, smoked a cigarette, and decided to take a quick shower. Oh yeah, I was starting to crave some damn delicious pizza by now, and I couldn’t wait until my supreme pizza fucking arrived! After showering, when I got out, I realized that I forgot to bring my clothes into the bathroom. …On the way to my room, I decided that I wanted another beer, so I went into the kitchen, butt naked as could be (nobody was home, so who cares). About the time I shut the fridge door, I heard a knock at the door behind me. I look out and it’s the damn pizza guy already! I was thinking it usually took them longer to get here, but whatever… It’s too late to get dressed, since I don’t want to keep a person of delivery waiting – especially with hot pizza, so I grab the money off the counter and open the door. The guy, with his mouth wide open while staring at my cock, drops the damn pizza and cheese sticks on the ground and starts walking backwards. I’m holding the money in my hand, but refuse to go any further since I’m butt naked…so I yell, “hey, do you want this!” I said that several times, but it seemed to make him move even quicker to his car. I thought to myself, “hey, if he doesn’t want to take the money for the pizza, then that is his problem.” All I could do was ask, but either way, the guy had some serious staring problems and he seemed to think my dick was a focal point or something that he should be gawking at while refusing to take my money. All I was trying to do was pay for my meal, nothing more! I’m telling ya, some of these people are fucking nuts!
This last example, is really recent. It involves a couple co-workers. These two were girlfriend & boyfriend at the time, but that’s not important. I have this fire ring that I built last year, outside, in a distant field. I invited them over for a weekend beer party and we were going to build a fire and all that good stuff. Me and my girlfriend along with this couple, were having a good time on the beginning by the toasty campfire. The other guy ended up getting sick midway through the night and went home. Shortly after, my girlfriend became tired and went inside to go to bed. So, it is just me and this other girl. She seemed to be a big drinker. She didn’t look all that great in the face, but she had a body that you would kill for. Anyway, while being nice to her since she was a guest, I suggested to her that maybe we can “play around” and that I could perhaps shove my over-sized shaft into any orifice she deemed available. She was barely coherent at the time and was very intoxicated, but I think I heard a “yes” in there amid her mumbles or I suppose it could have been my imagination, who knows… So I grabbed her sternly, bent her over, shucked her pants and panties down, and began trying to pervade her vaginal cavity like the good guy I am. Man, that stuff was seriously tight. I had to keep spitting on my cock since I didn’t have any available lube out in the wilderness, but eventually, I finally broke through her firm barrier of welded madness. Oh, she screamed like I was raping her or something. I was thinking, “what is your problem?” I repetitively pounded away, stroke after stroke, thrust after thrust, while I tried to become oblivious to the fact that she sounded like a dying dog during the process. I assumed that this bitch was an ex-mental patient since she seemed to act so wild & childish while I was cramming ever inch I could get into her seemingly vice-grip-like vagina. After a few minutes, I couldn’t stand her cries any longer and I pulled out and ejaculated all over her drunken face.
Anyway, after that, I went inside to get some more beer. When I got inside, I noticed that I had blood all over me.
I was like, WTF? When I went back outside, she was passed out on the ground – but she did manage to put her pants & panties back on before collapsing to the fire-warmed earth. I said, “this sucks; get up!” She didn’t seem to respond but she was at least still breathing. Well, the next day, my girlfriend had to take her home. I must have been asleep because I don’t remember her doing such…or how…or if the other girl even made it back in the house that night.
To make a long story short, I found out later that those two (my co-workers that I invited over) were waiting until they got married to have sex and that she was still a virgin. Oops! Hell, I didn’t know! Anyway, a couple days later, I heard they broke up for good and just the other day, the funniest thing happened at work… As I passed this guy in the hallway, towards the end of the work day, he was soooo staring at my “stuff” as if he envied it or whatever…and tripped over a dust mop that was laying across his path, and landed face down into the concrete floor. I was thinking to myself in a humorous fashion, after he fell, “finally, someone gets paid back for staring at my cock!” Why do people keep staring at my cock? Ha-ha!
———————————————>‘Click Here’ to Shop for “Cock Rings”<———————————————