A couple weeks ago, I wrote a thought-provoking article over at the main section of this website, entitled “Feeding Habits & Longevity and/or Lifespan of the Gray Aliens?”
Well, after writing that page, I quickly realized that this particular subject may be one that many folks would like to comment on. …And since the main site (not the blog section) doesn’t contain a ‘comment field’ or anything of the like, I thought it would be a good idea to link this post to the bottom of that particular article, in hopes that people would use the comment section here, to provide their thoughts, ideas, etc., on this lovely subject matter.
I have already received a couple comments about that article via e-mail correspondence, and I will copy them in the comment field, in a few moments.
Other than that, there is no need to elaborate any further about the subject above the fold, as the whole point is to discuss it down below – when concerning the article I wrote about the Gray Aliens; cheers!
Side Note: If for some reason you have landed here without reading the original page, and would still like to comment about this subject, please first visit http://www.perpendicularity.org/gray-aliens-lifespan-feeding.html and then proceed to comment accordingly here – while trying to, at the very least, maintain a level of relevancy and somewhat have a personal grasp of logical coherence; ta-da!
Recent Alien-related Article: “Big Green Reptilian Aliens – Physical Characteristics”
Random Article: “Nazi Bell Project – Time Travel Experiments”
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Now, to act as a content filler for this blog post, I’ll add a fictional, humorous piece about gray aliens that got removed from another website, due to quality standard issues, nature of the subject, whatever, even though the whole reason for the post below is to improve my internal link structure for better SEO:
“Top 5 Things you can do to Prevent an Abduction from the Gray Aliens“
Yes folks, many of you have seen these strange, gray aliens coming down from their tinfoil spaceships, just to reek havoc upon your cattle or, even worse, your bunghole! This post is not about cattle mutilations, crop circles or anything of the like, but it is about saving you; yes, you, the glorious Homo sapiens that struts their stuff on the catwalk of ignorance.
Are you sick & tired of getting abducted by freakin’ aliens? Personally, I’ve managed many ways to derail those gray bastards from my crib, but it’s those green reptilian aliens that I’ve had trouble effectively dealing with, although that’s another story entirely…
Anyway, lets not waste time talking about the nature of the beast, as this post is simply here to inform those that are fed up with being abducted by those plastic-looking, long-armed, little gray beings with all the fancy gizmos, remote controllers, vibrating boxes, flying saucers, piercing telepathic powers, you name it! I seen one up close one time, and it had eyes under its eyes. So yeah, we got problems here… Especially when things start showing up at your house that looks like it had more plastic surgery than a typical celebrity; yikes!
Okay, now that we got the intro out of the way, lets proceed with the top 5 most effective things you can do to save yourself upon an anal invasion, oops, I mean alien abduction.
1) The little Gray Aliens really, really hate human-sculpted magnets. Somehow or another, it screws their hardwired microchips into oblivion and with the proper use of such when dealing with these critters, you’ll need a how-to guide on how to properly dispose of a dysfunctional gray alien, to say the least! Anyway, I like to use the magnets on the back of my subwoofers, as they are fairly large. I suppose any magnets will work, but as they say, bigger IS better! Just have ’em lying around your bed, in your room, etc. If you decide to leave the house, being the hunter and gatherer you Homo erectus people are, uh, I mean Homo sapiens, Cro-Magnon man, whatever, you might want to at least have a few small magnets in your pocket. Finding magnets in an electronic world shouldn’t be a problem – just think speakers, for example.
2) As we all know, Gray Aliens are not the most athletic of beings and are never very physically active. Their muscles are like noodles due to the zero gravity in deep space (click here for Zero Point Energy) and low artificial gravity in their spaceships, and their brains are the size of, well, I don’t know how big their brains are, but they are a lot bigger than ours! Anyway, these guys totally detest deodorant! Yes, and now you wonder why many of the abductees look like they just crawled out of a trash can. Hey, you know how they like to abduct cows and small farm animals… Think about it!
3) Here, you are going to have to spend some money to be safe. Buy Moldavite! This is an ET-based crystal from another world that landed here many years ago. I found this through my metaphysical journey while decorating my house one year. I’m not really into the metaphysical crystals or healing stones but this stuff works, when it comes to avoiding those pesky, anal-probing alien abductions from the Grays! Just buy a few pieces and keep it on ya at all time, or tape it on your pocket magnets, whatever works, as Moldavite to them is like Kryptonite to Superman.
4) Gray aliens can’t eat food like we can. They suck and absorb nutrients through their plastic-doll-looking body via finger tips, so always have on hand some Holy Water from a local preacher, preferably a Catholic preacher or any fluid from a crazy Pentecostal Church. The corrupt water or fluid of your choice from those sources, will totally plug the suction cups from the alien’s finger tips, right up!
5) Now this next method is just plain gross, but going by what some past abductee named Billy Bob ____ (he elected to leave his last name blank, for privacy) said, if you eat enough spicy chili every night before you go to bed, that the Gray Aliens have a detector for various combustible gases and will not even think twice about probing your rectal region while your bloated, flatulent self is sleeping comfortably – nor will they abduct you. Yeah, talk about TMI (too much info)!
6) Uh, there is no #6 method that is truly effective; can’t you read? Oh, my bad… Yeah, so there you have it. Bring a magnet, wear deodorant when possible, spend money online and purchase some moldavite crystals, go to a crazy, sin-filled church, and eat heavily on gaseous food, and, uh, everything should be just fine! Dang, it sounds like America with a credit card, so why are the aliens still here???
Please note that, for the most part, you only have to do one out of those top 5 things to be effective. Sleep well and never quit looking up at the skies… Ha-ha!
Side Note: Even though this is just a creative scrap of tidbits, feel free to share your true stories in the glorious comment field; cheers!