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Silly Names & Extravagant Titles for Simple Jobs

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poppycockI’m writing this blog post today, out of sheer amusement. I’ve recently been thinking about how much value people often put on names & titles, when they really don’t mean anything.
I don’t want to hear about your silly labels and extravagant job descriptions, well, except on this entry. Any other time, I would rather you simply tell me such things without all the hoopla and ballyhoo.

…The same thing applies for when you are debating about a subject, lets say under the science genre, and you are more concerned about PhDs, what university you went to, and what fantastical achievements and awards have been presented, etc., while barely even acknowledging the heart of the matter/debate or points being made.
It is like, well, no matter if I’m wrong, I went to Harvard and have a masters degree in “The Art of Poppycock,” so move aside you pathetic Pollock-fish-frying loser from Long John Silver’s! LOL!

At any rate, this little post is for entertainment purposes only. You are free to add as many additional silly names & extravagant titles for simple jobs, within the comment field. Just make up a scenario or a simple job prior to each humorous title.

I’ll post a few below, to get things started:

A janitor at a local Elementary School once called his job a “Certified Sanitation Technician.”

A garbage man hanging off the back of a big garbage truck once shouted out that he is a “Human Wasteland Warrior!” Uh, that’s nice… Just take my waste to your wasteland and shut-up!

The drive-through manager at a hectic McDonald’s swears up and down that her job title is “Culinary Merchant Guru.”
Speaking of McDonald’s, one of the burger flippers at that very same restaurant, says he is a “Bovine Fryin’ Fool.” Well, at least that job title was a little more honest, that is, if the patties are really made of beef; ha!

A sales clerk at a pet shop that cleans the aquariums, checks the water’s pH level, adds chemicals and acid/base solutions if needed, gives his self the silly name of “The Aquatic Chemist.” Wow! I thought there was more to chemistry than that!

A poor, confused lady that works at a less-than-steady gas station, calls her job “Petroleum Overseer of Distribution.”

A very attractive woman that worked at a retail clothing store once claimed to be the “enticement of all fabric.” Well, I don’t know if she meant that as her job description or not, but she sure enticed me…

The french fry guy at a big-city Burger King proudly stated that he, and only he, was “The Starch Manipulator.” Uh, uh, whatever dude… I don’t think anybody is going to fight you over such a silly title; LOL!

A couple young guys that mow yards and perform other yard-related jobs for money, call their outdoor career “Eco-non-friendly Landscaping Associates.” I hate to break it to ’em, but they really need to drop that first hyphenated compound word, as it can’t be good for business…

There was once a redneck farmer with 3 teeth and a dirty straw hat that would come to town on occasions, bragging about how he was an “Agricultural Scientist.” Uh, I know that such a title does exist, but something tells me that this guy was lying… Ha!

A local bum that should have been castrated, has 12 kids with 9 different women while never holding down a job and barely pays any child support, called his self “The Fornication Specialist of Animalistic Poverty.” Well, I think you could scramble some of those words around and it would still come out right…

See how easy and fun this is? I expect a lot more silly, creative job descriptions within the comment field in due time. I could add more, but I must stop here or else I’ll be typing all morning about this inane subject. Either way, we live in a world full of wanna-be gurus and misinformation (especially online), as all we can do, at times, is to just sit back and laugh… LOL!

The ‘Fruit versus Vegetable’ Debate – Does it really matter?

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veggies This is a tiresome debate, as I’m sure many of you have heard the ongoing babble about what defines a fruit from a freakin’ vegetable. Why? What’s the big deal? Well, the biggest debate I have ever stumbled upon, when concerning this particular subject, is the good ol’ “is a tomato a fruit or a vegetable?” By the way, some people consider the tomato to be an oversized berry from an herb (looks more like a weed to me), so go figure…

 Lets just say, this strange argument doesn’t stop there, as we have the dictionary from the field of botany on one side, the Webster’s dictionary on the other, and the common sense dictions standing on the fence, looking for a place to sit down and eat without all the noise.

Now, in a thumbnail, without being overly elaborate, the same people that say a tomato is a fruit must also say that such things like squash, snap peas, zucchini, pumpkins, jalapenos, bell peppers, etc., are also fruit. Hmm, I just don’t see this next dialogue exchange panning out: “Hey, John… You should really try this fruit juice I’m drinking.” John says, “What’s in it?” Jane says with a smile, “Oh, it is the latest fruit juice craze… It is Jalapeno & Squash juice with a hint of eggplant.” John looks at Jane in a confused manner and mumbles, “That is what you call fruit juice?”

Most people already get the point, I’m sure, but I’m not done yet. I really want to get to the bottom of this silly debate about fruit versus the vegetable crapola…

Okay, before I go any further, I think the proclaimed definitions are what screws up certain overly analytical people on this subject. For one, does it really matter? Secondly, lets change the definition of fruit or perhaps the vegetable or better yet, lets call it all vegetation and be done with it! These things sure as hell ain’t meat products, so we can at least agree on that much. Speaking of such, there are people out there that will argue with you up & down the street, that fish isn’t meat. Well, is sure doesn’t look like a plant, now does it? From here on out, common sense and a semi-functioning brain, needs to be applied, as silly subjects require silly verbiage…

Anyway, back to more pertinent matters:

The Merriam-Webster’s dictionary provides a simple, yet contradicting solution to this problem, with the following… Fruit: 1) a product of plant growth; esp : a usually edible and sweet reproductive body of a seed plant. Vegetable: 2) a usually herbaceous plant grown for an edible part that is usually eaten as part of a meal; also : such an edible part.

From the land of botany, the definitions change a bit… Fruit: 1) the developed ovary of a seed plant with its contents and accessory parts, as the pea pod, tomato, or pineapple. 2) the edible part of a plant developed from a flower, with any accessory tissues, as the peach, mulberry, or banana. Vegetable: A plant cultivated for an edible part, such as the root of the beet, the leaf of spinach, or the flower buds of broccoli or cauliflower.

Going by the dictionary and the botanists, I can totally see how things got confused. Hey, what about seeds, beans and legumes or potatoes and corn? I eat corn, which is a seed, but they call it grain, which is fine with me… I eat potatoes, which are obviously a vegetable by both versions of definitions (Merrian-Webster & the land of Botany), yet many folks want to call it a starch and act like it is some evil vegetative villain.

I suppose sunflower seeds and nuts also deserve a special category? What gives? Oh, if you say fish isn’t a meat, then I suppose you mean that all cold-blooded life is meatless? Tell that to your local snakes and alligators, as I’m sure they would love to know that they are not considered to have any meat; ha!

…All jokes temporarily set aside, when it comes to what is a fruit, vegetable, grain, etc., does it really matter? Does it not all boil down to silly semantics? It is either vegetation or a meat of some sort; case closed! Now, on another note: I haven’t seen cakes & pies grow from the ground yet nor have I seen Twinkies protrude from other animals, so perhaps there’s a better debate, as in how to properly categorize human junk food, instead of picking on the poor tomatoes… LOL!

Use an Isobaric Subwoofer Configuration to Save Space and Increase Quality of your Bass

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isobaricAlthough this type of subject is not limited to car audio, it is generally the most common scenario that would involve the need to save on speaker-box space, etc.

Many folks that are wanting hard-hitting bass in their ride, generally think that big amps, big subwoofers, big box = big boom. Well, maybe so, but we don’t always have the trunk space of a large family car or the behind-the-seat air space of a van, either.

I used to be big into the car audio sound systems for a few years (right after High School), have built many speaker boxes (ported, sealed… even helped build bandpass boxes with Plexiglas windows, and so on), and I only had to resort to an Isobaric configuration one time, during all of that, but many folks may be interested in this extra option.

Okay, for one, I must say that the bigger the box does not by any means equal louder bass. Big, sealed boxes commonly hit at a lower frequency and have better quality overall, but as for finding your highest db (decibel) potential, is about finding the perfect-sized box for the frequency that you want to peak at. For example, some people may prefer a tighter, more punchy bass that hits harder at a higher frequency – if you mainly listen to hard rock, for example. On the other hand, a person who listens to rap may prefer a much lower frequency of bass, ya know, the kind that vibrates your seat even when you can’t even hear it. The human ear can only hear so low of a frequency (same applies to extremely high megahertz), so when you build a box that hits below the frequency of human hearing, it feels weird, to say the least (I’ve witnessed it before).

Anyway, they sell books for scientifically building the perfect box for your subwoofers, but that is not the primary subject of this post. Oh, if you are interested in such things, follow the link “Loudspeaker Design Cookbook,” and grab yourself a copy, today.

At any rate, I’m about to quickly go over the Isobaric configuration, its pros and cons, and why or when you should use it…

The main reason a normal person would want to use an Isobaric subwoofer configuration, also known as the “push-pull” subwoofer setup, is to cut your required box size literally in half, as you can divide the air space by 2, when using this method! Hey, that’s pretty dang good, if you require a 4.0 cubic foot box in a hatchback, and can get it cut down to a pleasant 2.0 cubic foot, eh?
The configuration is very simple, it’s just that you have to double your amount of subwoofers. In less words, we will turn two Subs into 1.
As you can tell by the image above, the push-pull effect can only be achieved if one of the subwoofers are wired in reverse. So, hook one sub up as normal, positive to positive, negative to negative, and the other Sub in reverse, such as positive wire to negative post of speaker and vice versa.

With two subwoofer cones acting as one, you have just created a “Super Subwoofer,” so to speak. By science, with the way this works, the required air space to basically operate at the same level as one, has been cut in half; presto! Since the opposing speaker that is facing inwards toward the other has been wired with a reversed polarity, you get the push-pull effect as when one pulls back, the other cone pushes forward; simple stuff here!

Now, lets get to the heart of the matter, as to the pros and cons and what type of situations would call for an Isobaric configuration.

Cons: Well, for one, you must have twice as many subwoofers to perform this and, depending on the brand name, this could cost a fair amount of extra money. Overall, per the amount of energy and/or power your amplifier puts out, Isobaric setups are not as efficient as single Sub units are.

Pros: I suppose one of my favorite aspects of an Isobaric setup is the lowered amount of distortion. Unless you have poor quality speakers and amps, this configuration sounds great and provides a tight, clean bass sound! The main Pro for this type of configuration is, of course, the box size is cut in half, which is great if you are short for room but still want some bump involved in your sound system.

In closing, here are the times when a person may need to resort to an Isobaric installation process:

When you have a very tight space in your vehicle, trunk, etc., and would like to have the sound of 2 subwoofers but only have room for one or have 4 Subs and only have room for 2, and so on.
If you have the extra money and have more Subwoofers than brains (just kidding) and would just like to enjoy the enhanced quality and less distortion that Isobaric sound systems have and/or have the time and funds to experiment with different options, etc.
If you have several low-quality subwoofers that you don’t want to throw away, but would like to find a way to make them sound semi-decent.
If you have a big amp with a lot of extra power to spare, and you are looking for a way to “amp it up” without excessive amounts of distortion.
If you are just seeking a tighter hitting thump and more accurate bass sounds for your sound system, and have the extra Subs and a powerful enough amplifier to work with.

So as you can see, many of y’all can do without this configuration, but there will be times that using this Isobaric Subwoofer Configuration to Save Space and Increase Quality of your Bass, will be the best option.

isobaric_1

—————> ‘Click Here’ for a Fine Selection of Car Audio & Subwoofers <—————

—End of Post

History of Electricity – From Magnetism to Nuclear Power…

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electricity_magnetismAfter recently writing a blog post about the “Quest for Zero Point (Free) Energy,” I thought it was a good time to slap down a quick entry about the history of electricity.  This beloved form of power can, of course, come from many sources such as magnets via magnetism, water (hydroelectric power), steam, solar power, wind power and from crude sources like burning coal, gasoline, and other miscellaneous fuels along with the dreaded nuclear power plants that we need less of in this world, and so on.

 Toward the end of this post, I’ll provide a few additional resource links and a couple books (shopping links) from Amazon that relate to this subject.  One of those books is what got me thinking about various subjects that have to do with the history of things, how stuff got started, etc.  Anyway, before I begin with the timeline of electricity, I must say that I’m not going to include a thorough step-by-step progression chart of how the Homo sapiens knowledge of electricity evolved over the centuries.  I’ll jot down a few historic tidbits and leave you with a few links so you can further your study, if desired.

On another subject, this small timeline of events only covers standard, basic history facts.  In reality or, at least in my opinion, there have been civilizations that lived here long ago that were far more advanced than the human beings of today and most likely had access to some type of crystal technology along with a special skill to use the Earth as a free source of energy and the ability to tap into the grid of Zero Point Energy, etc.  Anyway…

Way back in 600 B.C., Thales of Miletus stumbled upon the fact that when you rub a piece of Amber against fur, that it would hold what appeared to be a magnetic property for a short time.  The friction was actually creating what was later known as “static electricity.”  During the year 1600, William Gilbert (an English physician) published his well-known work about magnetism.

After the year 1700, the “Electrostatic Generator” came to the scene.  Using wool threads and a glass globe, the English inventor Francis Hauksbee developed a contraption that could generate static electricity.  Not too many years later, 1745-46, a device was invented to store static electricity, by Ewald Georg and Pieter van Musschenbroe.

To prove that lightning was a form of electricity, Benjamin Franklin created a cheap lightning conductor using a kite with a key tied to the string.  Dang, talk about being resourceful and ingenious; ha!

This next tidbit would sort of rival with ancient ruins and other things that were allegedly found in the past, like the notion that batteries existed thousands of years ago, but anyway, the first battery was supposedly created in 1799-1800 by Alessandro Volta, and was called “Voltaic Pile.”  So now you know where the term ‘volt’ came from, eh?

In 1820 electromagnetism was discovered!  Hans Christian, a Danish physicist, realizes the relationship between magnets and electricity.  This is fairly big because it quickly led to other experiments like the “induction ring” by Michael Faraday, the “electromagnet” by Joseph Henry, along with other people starting to experiment and/or perform experiments with magnetism and electricity, etc.

1878-79, Joseph Swan, a British inventor, creates an “incandescent lamp” that was later modified and improved by Thomas Edison, hence the creation of our much needed light bulbs; yay!

This next tidbit was interesting to read, as it spoke about how in 1881, the English town of Godalming, Surrey, demonstrated the world’s first public display of electric lighting as it wired the streets full of electricity.  A year later, scientists start to realize what is known as hydroelectric power, which is basically using water to generate electricity, and many water-based power plants and dams are built shortly after.

The next couple of years, 1883-84, the famous inventor Nikola Tesla invents a way to transmit electricity over vast distances.  Known as the “Tesla Coil,” this invention acts as a catalyst for the progress towards the conveyance of electricity throughout the world.  During this same time frame, steam power and steam turbines are developed to generate electricity.

During the 1950s, is when Nuclear Power started taking off.  Personally, I would like to see less nuclear power and more alternative ways to generate electricity.  There are many thing I didn’t list here,  but there is definitely a “greener” solution.  Which is probably why a few decades after the start of nuclear power, you started hearing more about wind power via wind turbines, etc., and solar power via rechargeable solar panels and cells, etc.

At any rate, I wished I would have studied more about magnets, magnetism, electricity, AC/DC current and whatnot,  at an early age.  I say that because I think that with a little creativity and intuition, a lot of inventions and cheaper ways of living could have spawned from it, just like many folks that have studied these fields have achieved.  I’ve heard of a lot of inventions getting suppressed, as well, but we won’t go into that today.  I don’t know, but if I couldn’t figure out how to tap into the ether to harness some Zero Point Energy (ha!), then it would still be pretty nifty to build your own generators and create your own electricity by using magnets and electricity and/or magnetism.  Plus, the discovery of the relationship between magnets and electricity is what eventually led to the electric motor, for example.

timelines_history Well, we just covered a brief timeline about the history of electricity.  If you are interested in a whole host of subjects that discuss the history and storylines behind the progress of mankind, you may be interested in the book Smithsonian Timelines of History, as I’ll provide the link in a moment.  If you are looking for a couple additional resource links that speak about the progression of electricity down through history, whether it be nuclear power, magnetism or whatever, you can check out the following:

History of Electricity – Timeline” & “The History of Electricity – Electronics

——>‘Click Here’ to Search Amazon for the book Timelines of History<——

——>‘Click Here’ to find books related to Electricity and Magnetism<——

Random Blog Link:  “Himalayan Salt Products, Lamps, Teal Light Candle Holders…

—End of Post

Zero Point (Free) Energy – Possible Inventions?

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zero_point_energyI recently picked up (purchased) a book the other day that was entitled “Quest For Zero Point Energy” and it spoke about many of the engineering principles for what is known as “free energy.”

When most folks hear the terms “free energy,” they probably think I’m talking about solar power, wind power, etc., but that is hardly the case.  Zero Point Energy (ZPE) involves a perpetual form of energy via the underlying, energetic fabric of space known as “the ether.”  Many people, in fact most people, of the scientific community reject such notions.  However, Wheeler’s theory of geometrodynamics speaks of the fabric of so-called “empty space” as being “quantum foam,” if you will…

Quantum mechanics became somewhat accepted in the 1930s and, from that, arose a mathematical term that described the ground state of any oscillating system called the Zero Point Energy.  If any of y’all are wondering, the term “zero-point” refers to zero degrees Kelvin – which means that even in the absence of all heat, this energy would still exist.  Now, one must ask, does ZPE really exist?

I would like to think so, as I believe that there is an amazing ongoing energy source out there that is possible to tap into.  I find it hard to believe that we, on Earth, have already used and have become aware of all available energy sources that are available by way of the cosmos and the space that surrounds us.

At any rate, lets move forward…
How do we build a practical self-running device that provides this “free energy” and/or Zero Point Energy?  There has been several interesting inventions and ideas of engineering such things over the last several years.  Many of which, displayed energy anomalies.  Similar to ball lightning, finding this excess energy and tapping into it, doesn’t seem too far-fetched for an open-minded individual.

Although the concepts behind Zero Point Energy are often labeled as pseudoscience, science fiction, and madman theories, I find the advanced notions of “free energy” from the fabric of “empty” space to be more plausible than what many scientists would have you believe.  Does “the ether” contain a plenum of energy?  Well, obviously more experiments need to be done.

I must say, though, with experiments, proof, inventions, etc., there lies several major problems.  Such paradigm-violating experiments (like ZPE) are not often welcomed by the scientific community.  Many of these projects, because of this, are suspended.  Simply put, sociological, political and economical factors dominate most scientists.  Many things can result from this type of “going out on a limb” type of work, such as:  patents blocked, jobs lost, grants withdrawn, suppression, personal threats, assassinations, and so on.

Anyway, here is a list of some (out of the many) possible inventions that point to Zero Point Energy [References: Author Moray B. King, Quest for Zero Point Energy, page 10]:

1) Electrostatic field-chopping device of William Hyde, which he claimed that it produced 20 kilowatts output while free-running.
2) Floyd Sweet’s well-witnessed magnetic device was suppose to have produced 500 watts while free-running.
3) The plasma tubes of T. Henry Moray – 50 kilowatt energy device.
4)Ken Shoulders – discovery of the “electrum validum,” which is a micron size, charge plasma form that seems to contain excess energy.

Outside of these, there are many vacuum energy ideas, some of which hint at the notion of organizing them into vortex forms, as this could end up resulting into grand, energetic effects.

Well, if you are an inventor, scientist, or engineer that is interested in these “free energy” principles, I recommend Moray’s book, The Quest for Zero Point Energy. Even if you are none of the above, you may find this book to be very interesting and, who knows, it may provoke you to learn more about the subject or perhaps trigger new ideas that you can expand upon.

—————>‘Click Here’ for a fine selection of Zero Point Energy books via Amazon<—————

—End of Post “Zero Point (Free) Energy – Possible Inventions?”

Additional Reading: “ZPE – Limitless (free) energy embedded in the fabric of space?

Random Blog Link:  Quantum Jumping vs. Deep Meditation & Creative Imagination

If you have totally given up on the possibility of building some crazy invention featuring this insanely free zero point energy, perhaps you may need to keep it simple and start by building speaker boxes, instead: MDF vs. Particle Board

Top 3 Most Asinine Theories Accepted by the Scientific Community

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There are loads of theories out there that spawn from common folks, deranged lunatics, the french fry guy at McDonald’s, the scientific community, and so on.  However, nobody really pays very much attention to the ones who don’t have degrees, letters like PhD beside their name, etc.  With that being said, I thought it would be good to do a lighthearted blog post about the top 3 (in my opinion) most asinine theories that are accepted by the scientific community.

1) The Big Bang Theory – Oh, my, it is the scientific version of Genesis…  Many of these folks believe that all the contents of the universe was once packed into a proton-size (or smaller) dot that they call a “singularity,” which is another word for the phrase “I haven’t a freakin’ clue,” and from this minuscule dot of infinitesimal measure, it miraculously went BANG!  There are many clues that show that the universe isn’t expanding in the order of a common explosion along with the wacky side-way movement of certain galaxies, but with or without the expansion babble, the singularity chatter doesn’t cut the cake for me.  I included this theory in my creation theories post, but it doesn’t mean that I’m a supporter albeit within that particular post I didn’t waste much time on it. 

2) The Theory of Evolution– Now this is a theory that has got even more twisted over time.  I have no problem with the obvious fact that life can evolve and acclimate to its surroundings over time, but I have major problems with the speciation concepts found within this asinine theory.  I mean, they actually think a Velociraptor (genus of dinosaur also known as “Raptor”) turned into today’s turkey.  Yeah, have a happy Thanksgiving while eating your Dino Bird… Ha!  Everybody wants to talk about monkeys when they refer to human evolution.  Well, if you are really feeling stupid, you must also accept their theory about how all humans were once a fish!  Yeah, the single-cell amoeba got jiggy, turned into a trilobite that got scared a swam away like a fish that later got all monkey on our asses and here we are…  What a load of baloney!  If you’d like to read more about what I think of this silly theory, go here:  Theory of Evolution & the Missing Link

3) The Primordial Soup Theory –  If you find yourself arguing about the Big Bang Theory and the Theory of Evolution, don’t sell yourself short!  Please include the other asinine theory that is commonly accepted by the scientific community, which is known as the Primordial Soup Theory.  This “belief” is laughable at best, as they basically think some bolt of lightning struck a pool of water and all of the life on Earth spawned from this chemical-laced, amino acid-based soup.  Wow!  It sounds more like chili without beans, if ya ask me!  Anyway, instead of me typing about what I think about it on this page, I’ve wrote a blog post in the past that you can read, here:  Primordial Soup Theory or Primitive Chili without Beans?

idiots

—End of Post “Top 3 Most Asinine Theories Accepted by the Scientific Community”

Related Link:  “Video: 10 Crazy Theories about our Existence…

Recent Article:  “Nazi Bell Project – Time Travel Experiments

Growing Tomato Plants from Trimmings/Stem Tip Cuttings

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Well, as the garden season in my area is approaching its latter days, I decided to do a little experiment this year with my tomato plants.  It is something that, for whatever reason, I never thought about doing, but it involved a technique that I used to use for houseplants.  It involves a simple process, often referred to as “stem tip cuttings” and/or what I like to call “growing from trimmings,” and it works like a charm.  Anyway, all you have to do is cut a healthy portion of your plant off from one of the tips, set it in a container of water, and within a few days, roots will start to develop and you can transplant back into the soil when the root structure is decent, and presto; you have a new plant!

You can use whatever type of container(s) you like, but the way I did it, involved me placing a 5-gallon bucket near my garden that was full of water.  I added several trimmings from my tomato plants (as I was topping them for better yield) into the big bucket of water.  Of course I lost a few, but since I was already topping my plants anyway, it didn’t matter.  Also, it is a good idea to cut back a few leaves from the stem that you are placing in the water.  This will help more energy be focused on growing a root structure as opposed to the strain of keeping all of its foliage hydrated.  Most of my stem tip cuttings from my tomato plants, were anywhere from 16 to 24 inches long.  You will most likely have a higher success rate from shorter trimmings, but I had plenty of tomatoes and took the chance.  I have a few transplanted as of now and they are doing great at the moment.  I just hope that there is enough time for them to fully develop. 

Outside of this method saving you 4 to 6 weeks or more (depending on how large your cuttings are) in time, since you are not starting the plants via seeds, there is also another benefit to this, which is the fact that you can select your healthiest plants to clone (which is basically what it is).  I find this to be an excellent late season option, for the ones who still want tomatoes for several more weeks.  Just think, some places in the world grow these suckers all year long!

This brings me to another option, which is something I haven’t tried yet:  Growing Tomato Plants Indoors. 

fluorescent_grow_lights

If I decide to buy some fluorescent grow lights, I may give it a GO this Fall/Winter, but I’m still not sure.  However, if I do decide to grow these self-pollinating tomato plants inside, you can bet I’ll be using the new plants I got from my prior trimmings/stem tip cuttings.  Anyway, if you’re interested in such things, you may need to check out a nice selection of fluorescent lighting and/or growing lights, below:

———> Click Here to Browse through a Fine Selection of Fluorescent Grow Lights <———

—End of Post

‘Topping’ Tomato Plants toward the end of Growing Season…

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tomatoes_1  This is something that I recently tried this year, as I have always denied the whole pruning philosophy when concerning tomato plants, but this year I had another problem, which was a good one, and that being the need to “top” my tomato plants (I’ll get to the reason for this, in a moment).

  Well, even though this post is about ‘topping’ your lovely tomato plants, and since I’ve already managed to gripe about pruning fanatics, I shall provide a quick excerpt from ehow.com that speaks about pruning:  “What Is Pruning and Why?  Pruning tomato plants means removing unwanted side-shoots, or suckers, from the main stem. This will keep your plant from getting too bushy. It will also cut down on the amount of fruit your plant produces but allow it to produce larger-sized fruit. Pruned tomato plants will also produce fruit earlier than other plants.”

Even though that is the concept of pruning, I’m yet to see why anybody would want to do that!  If you have excellent soil and your plants are thriving, why would you not want your tomato plants to be bushy and have loads of tomatoes?  If you yearn for over-sized tomatoes, then perhaps you need to try other types of plants, like the beefsteak tomato, for example.

Anyway, we are not pruning anything in my garden patch, but I did have to resort to “topping” this year, which is where you cut the tops off, in hopes that the remaining small tomatoes will produce decent-sized red ones toward the end of their growing season.

To make a long story short, I had a great growing season this year, and most of the things I planted did really well.  However, I have never had a year when the tomato plants seemed like you couldn’t kill ’em even if you tried.  Normally, they die out toward the end of summer…  But this year, they kept thriving (maybe I’m getting better at this) and this is what has brought me to this topping situation.

You see, after your tomato plants have been around for quite a while and have grown to enormous size, it gets to the point that your tomatoes get smaller and smaller as your plants vine out.  Think about how much further the fruit is from the roots, as it grows…  Well, one can normally wait for them to slowly grow and ripen when you have an ongoing, excellent yield, but not when you are heading toward the end of your growing season!  So, instead of having to throw a bunch of tiny green tomatoes back onto the ground, if you top the plants (remove/cut the tops off just above the potential  fruit clusters), you will have a better chance of those last sets of tomatoes growing to full size, as no more energy and nutrients will be wasted on unnecessary growth and/or foliage.  Pretty simple stuff, eh?

Although I don’t grow this particular crop, since it is illegal, I have heard of people topping their marijuana plants to get it to bud faster and provide a quicker, higher quality yield.  I don’t even know if I should have mentioned that last tidbit, but either way, the concept remains.  If cool weather is just a month or two away and you still have tomato plants that are producing green tomatoes, then topping your plants may be the solution for you.

Side Note:  This only applies to the larger varieties of tomato plants, as it might not be a good idea to ‘top’ your small/medium-sized tomato plants; cheers!

Related Articles:

* Garden Experiment:  Growing Tomatoes Naturally

* Garden Pest: Tomato Hornworms

* Fried Green Tomatoes – Southern Tradition

* Fried Green Roma Tomatoes

* Black Walnut Trees Killing Tomatoes

—End of Post: ”Topping’ Tomato Plants toward the end of Growing Season…

The ‘Comment Section’ for the Article about ‘Gray Aliens’

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A couple weeks ago, I wrote a thought-provoking article over at the main section of this website, entitled “Feeding Habits & Longevity and/or Lifespan of the Gray Aliens?

UFOs

Well, after writing that page, I quickly realized that this particular subject may be one that many folks would like to comment on.  …And since the main site (not the blog section) doesn’t contain a ‘comment field’ or anything of the like, I thought it would be a good idea to link this post to the bottom of that particular article, in hopes that people would use the comment section here, to provide their thoughts, ideas, etc., on this lovely subject matter.

I have already received a couple comments about that article via e-mail correspondence, and I will copy them in the comment field, in a few moments.

Other than that, there is no need to elaborate any further about the subject above the fold, as the whole point is to discuss it down below – when concerning the article I wrote about the Gray Aliens; cheers!

Side Note: If for some reason you have landed here without reading the original page, and would still like to comment about this subject, please first visit http://www.perpendicularity.org/gray-aliens-lifespan-feeding.html and then proceed to comment accordingly here – while trying to, at the very least, maintain a level of relevancy and somewhat have a personal grasp of logical coherence; ta-da!

Recent Alien-related Article:  “Big Green Reptilian Aliens – Physical Characteristics

Random Article:  “Nazi Bell Project – Time Travel Experiments

—End of Post

___________________Don’t Bother Reading Below This Line__________________

Now, to act as a content filler for this blog post, I’ll add a fictional, humorous piece about gray aliens that got removed from another website, due to quality standard issues, nature of the subject, whatever, even though the whole reason for the post below is to improve my internal link structure for better SEO:

“Top 5 Things you can do to Prevent an Abduction from the Gray Aliens

gray_aliensYes folks, many of you have seen these strange, gray aliens coming down from their tinfoil spaceships, just to reek havoc upon your cattle or, even worse, your bunghole! This post is not about cattle mutilations, crop circles or anything of the like, but it is about saving you; yes, you, the glorious Homo sapiens that struts their stuff on the catwalk of ignorance.

Are you sick & tired of getting abducted by freakin’ aliens? Personally, I’ve managed many ways to derail those gray bastards from my crib, but it’s those green reptilian aliens that I’ve had trouble effectively dealing with, although that’s another story entirely…

Anyway, lets not waste time talking about the nature of the beast, as this post is simply here to inform those that are fed up with being abducted by those plastic-looking, long-armed, little gray beings with all the fancy gizmos, remote controllers, vibrating boxes, flying saucers, piercing telepathic powers, you name it! I seen one up close one time, and it had eyes under its eyes. So yeah, we got problems here… Especially when things start showing up at your house that looks like it had more plastic surgery than a typical celebrity; yikes!

Okay, now that we got the intro out of the way, lets proceed with the top 5 most effective things you can do to save yourself upon an anal invasion, oops, I mean alien abduction.

1) The little Gray Aliens really, really hate human-sculpted magnets. Somehow or another, it screws their hardwired microchips into oblivion and with the proper use of such when dealing with these critters, you’ll need a how-to guide on how to properly dispose of a dysfunctional gray alien, to say the least! Anyway, I like to use the magnets on the back of my subwoofers, as they are fairly large. I suppose any magnets will work, but as they say, bigger IS better! Just have ’em lying around your bed, in your room, etc. If you decide to leave the house, being the hunter and gatherer you Homo erectus people are, uh, I mean Homo sapiens, Cro-Magnon man, whatever, you might want to at least have a few small magnets in your pocket. Finding magnets in an electronic world shouldn’t be a problem – just think speakers, for example.

2) As we all know, Gray Aliens are not the most athletic of beings and are never very physically active. Their muscles are like noodles due to the zero gravity in deep space (click here for Zero Point Energy) and low artificial gravity in their spaceships, and their brains are the size of, well, I don’t know how big their brains are, but they are a lot bigger than ours! Anyway, these guys totally detest deodorant! Yes, and now you wonder why many of the abductees look like they just crawled out of a trash can. Hey, you know how they like to abduct cows and small farm animals… Think about it!

3) Here, you are going to have to spend some money to be safe. Buy Moldavite! This is an ET-based crystal from another world that landed here many years ago. I found this through my metaphysical journey while decorating my house one year. I’m not really into the metaphysical crystals or healing stones but this stuff works, when it comes to avoiding those pesky, anal-probing alien abductions from the Grays! Just buy a few pieces and keep it on ya at all time, or tape it on your pocket magnets, whatever works, as Moldavite to them is like Kryptonite to Superman.

4) Gray aliens can’t eat food like we can. They suck and absorb nutrients through their plastic-doll-looking body via finger tips, so always have on hand some Holy Water from a local preacher, preferably a Catholic preacher or any fluid from a crazy Pentecostal Church. The corrupt water or fluid of your choice from those sources, will totally plug the suction cups from the alien’s finger tips, right up!

5) Now this next method is just plain gross, but going by what some past abductee named Billy Bob ____ (he elected to leave his last name blank, for privacy) said, if you eat enough spicy chili every night before you go to bed, that the Gray Aliens have a detector for various combustible gases and will not even think twice about probing your rectal region while your bloated, flatulent self is sleeping comfortably – nor will they abduct you. Yeah, talk about TMI (too much info)!

6) Uh, there is no #6 method that is truly effective; can’t you read? Oh, my bad… Yeah, so there you have it. Bring a magnet, wear deodorant when possible, spend money online and purchase some moldavite crystals, go to a crazy, sin-filled church, and eat heavily on gaseous food, and, uh, everything should be just fine! Dang, it sounds like America with a credit card, so why are the aliens still here???

Please note that, for the most part, you only have to do one out of those top 5 things to be effective.  Sleep well and never quit looking up at the skies… Ha-ha!

Side Note: Even though this is just a creative scrap of tidbits, feel free to share your true stories in the glorious comment field; cheers!

Garden Pest: Squash Bugs

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It seems that every garden season or at least every other one, I have a new visitor (garden pest) enter my glorious growing areas – no matter how many times I change locations, move the crops, etc.  Although, I always manage to have a decent yield while staying organic without the use of insecticides, pesticides, poisons, chemicals, and so on.

In the past, I have wrote about other garden pests, such as the Japanese Beetles – that once decided to come into my corn field as a throng of silk-eating freaks, and as the battle raged on, I was still victorious minus several ears of corn; ha!  Last year I got to finally meet the beloved Tomato Hornworms, as those fat, green caterpillars got catapulted  from my garden in a ballistic fashion, after realizing that they were eating my tomato plants like a crazed glut!

This year, I decided to grow more squash than usual, so guess what?  I got visited by lots of squash bugs!  By the way, I experimented with a different way to grow squash, as I staggered my planting session into two-week intervals and spread them out in different areas in the yard.  This allowed me to not only have an ongoing supply of squash, but it also gave me a good idea of how well the plants did in different areas and conditions, such as more shade versus more sun, soil conditions, etc.  All in all, I found out that squash, at least the ones I planted, do better in areas that get sun during the first and latter parts of the day, and shade during the middle of the day.

Well, I’m getting off subject here, and I was going to briefly talk about these pesky little garden pests known as “squash bugs.”

In my opinion, these bugs can easily be worked around without the use of poisons.  The main thing, is to make sure your squash plants get a good start in fertile soil with enough water, as once they grow to a large size, it doesn’t seem to matter if the foliage is being ate by these squash bugs.  It is when they attack early and get on the young squash plants, is when your yield is mostly affected.   Basically, if you have a healthy squash plant that is flourishing, by the time these bugs do enough damage to kill the plant, you would have most likely already picked several squash from the plant.

Anyway, if you know what to look for, you can remove these little devils before very much damage occurs.  First, you need to know what the squash bug eggs look like:

squash_bugs_eggs

Please note, you must check underneath the big leaves on your squash plants, as well, because they like to hide these egg clusters on the underside in addition to the egg clusters that are in plain site.  At any rate, it shouldn’t be much of a problem for you to scrape the eggs off so you can discard them.  Without the use of chemical sprays, that’s all there is to it, really.  If you have a massive amount of squash plants and want to keep things organic but are too lazy to check your plants for squash bugs and/or squash bug eggs, well:  You better make sure your plants are thriving from the start and it wouldn’t hurt to use some organic compost, beforehand, to help give ’em the boost they need to combat this particular garden pest.

Below, is a photo of the Squash Bug nymphs, not long after they hatch:

squash_bugs_nymphs

This next image, displays an adult squash bug:

squash_bug_adult

Well, now that you know what may have been eating your squash plants and just how easy they are to locate and remove, you have no reason outside of bad weather and soil conditions, to not have an excellent yield of squash!  My favorite way to prepare yellow summer squash, is of course the least healthy – which is breaded and fried, but it is so yummy!  Ha!

—End of Post